Superfluous Ambiguity - A Humble Approach to Anonymity

Greetings.

I feel that writing a note is long over due, and I feel like I am at a point where I should write, but am least capable. Let me explain. At the moment, I may be experiencing a few or all of the below mentioned circumstances. (Watch out - some of these may haunt you if you have previously experienced them.)

Well, actually, I don't feel like writing them all down, and I certainly am not looking for pity or empathy at this point, even though I know there is plenty out there to give to me. ;)

Most of all, I feel completely unsettled with no place to go. I have been given gifts that are invisible to me, though completely visible to others. I feel like I have developed gifts that are only visible to me, and are invisible to others. Essentially, I have come to the conclusion that I am lost, and that there is only one way to the end of the maze - to get there. I read a quote this afternoon as I was packing some of my belongings for my journey, and it said something like this,

"It is important that we pursue life's journey with a destination in mind. However, at the end, it is the journey that made all the difference."

I thought to myself, interesting. In a time when I am all but on my knees begging the Lord for some solid absolutes in my life, He tells me that I am to pursue His dwelling place all the days of my life, and I will find Him. But in the end, it will be the life in Him that I will find valued, not where I have ended up because of the journey.

I'm trying not to end up in the 'looking for a formula' category when it comes to relationship with Jesus. I am working hard to deepen my faith in regards to the fact that Jesus was God, and is a Man that was sent from the Father to show me love, and has defeated the power of my flesh and it's selfish desires.

I only want to be able to accomplish something in my life that means something. I feel as though most of mens' goals are not time driven, but power driven. I want to be debt free. I want to be married. I want to own a home. I want to start a business. I want to this and that. Little do we really realize that these things lead to bigger and more complex things like: I want to save enough to retire by 50. I want to have lots of kids. I want to own a bigger home. I want to own the biggest provider of x goods in the region. I want more of this and that.

I think what I am looking for is some peace in my life where I can differentiate the various aspects of my life, so that individual duties or functions don't spill over into others, causing any sort of unexpected imbalance.

But verily I say, what I am looking for no man can offer. What I am seeking is eternal and not limited by loans and compensation. What I desire no horizon can portray. What I need is here, in so many forms, in so many gifts, in so many offerings that have been so graciously given. Who I am is redeemed not because of my worthiness or deserved nature. Who I will be is not determined by anything but the will of a perfect Creator who has an immaculate perception of my destiny.

When all has been said and done, I belong, and I am the beloved. I am the one who is sought after because I am the one who is missing. The responsibility of my eternity has inevitably been given over to One who has the ability to overcome all adversity and impossibility that may, and has most definitely arisen.

So I will declare the goodness of the One who has saved me, and raised me from death into life - and not a life that is shapeless or worth even less - but a life that is full; "And this is life - that I know Him, the one Truth, and the One Word, whom was sent by the Truth."

I am yours, and You are mine, oh Lover of my soul, how my soul longs for the refreshing touch of Your presence, which provides my hope, my salvation, my love, my life, my inspiration, and ultimately the timely and perfected faith in which proves my belief, and in fact, does please You.

In the name of all that is holy and righteous, and worthy of receiving glory and honor and praise - Jesus Christ - The Son of the perfect Father.

Amen.

"Put all of You in me, until there is only You and none of me."

BURNING

Burning. Blazen. Fire. Passion. Zeal.

What is the point of these words anyway?

I am learning that my life is slowly developing into what most would consider a lengthy argument. There are two very strong polar opposite desires that are battling in my soul. Before I go into the discussion about those two nemesis, I must admit, that both are meant for good. Both desire to explore, conquer, and take, and establish, and both were inevitably created. Both were really created to be one, in unison, and unfortunately I decided that there was a choice to be made between life and discerning for myself what is good and right and necessary to survive one more day.

Both my flesh and soul were created, but only one was created to survive - and the other - only to live. Both were inspired, but one was given a choice - and the other - well, the other only has absolute purpose and therefore no need to choose.

There is something so deep in my soul that is crying to break free from the idea that there is such a thing as choice and decision, and to break into the heart of God, where TRUTH ABOUNDS IN FULL MEASURE. TRUTH SET ME FREE!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I am learning that if any man has truly met Jesus, he will become ENFLAMED WITH THE FIRE AND PASSION AND ZEAL AND BURNING DESIRE TO LIVE AND NOT SURVIVE.

Luke 12:49. Romans 8:11-15.

THERE IS LIFE AND THERE IS EVERYTHING ELSE. THERE IS LIFE AND THERE IS EVERYTHING ELSE. TRUTH REIGNS AND THERE SHALL BE NO OTHER THAT WILL MATCH THE GLORY AND SPLENDOR OF THE KING WHO IS OUR LORD FOREVER AND EVER.

The scriptures say, 'Choose this day whom you will serve.' Make the only choice that matters. Make the only decision you ever really made, and choose to serve the Author of LIFE.

I urge you to live every day to remind everyone that you come in contact with of these things, and you will surely live, and there will be many more who will follow and be added to the family of God in Christ Jesus.

I will boldly say that these are the last words that I will ever speak that have any merit:

Choose Jesus, and seek God, and you will find hope forever.

JESUS!?!?!?!?!?! INVADE MY HEART WITH TRUTH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

The Low Times - AKA - The Hopeful Times

The Low Times.

For years, I have had this saying, 'What else is there?' This statement refers to life being spent pursuing Jesus, and desiring His Presence in my life continually. There is none but Jesus.

Today, after a long discussion with mentors and discipliners, which also happen to double as my parents, I have to eat my words, and realize that I have worked hard to mold everything in my life to fit into that 'What else is there?' package.

The only way that I feel like I can really explain these dealings in my heart, I have to step back and understand, that I am who God has designed me to be. I'll sum it up in one statement: I can't bring my things to heaven, but I can bring heaven to my things.

What do I mean? I can't really explain it. I've been soul searching, and if I were you, I would expect to see some major changes in Brandon Snell's life. Some will be radical, but most of the change will be exposing who I really am. I have dreams that I have suppressed for sake of wanting to get things in order first - without actually getting anything done.

I am the type of individual that likes to see the whole picture, but focus on completing step one, even though I may be discussing or dreaming about phase twelve. I don't like completing step one, two, and three at the same time while dreaming about phases 12-17. Let me finish one, and then we'll move on.

I have a lot of loose ends in my life because I refuse to tie them off all at once before I progress. I can't halt progress any longer. I have resource to capture and tame. I have seeds to plant. I have dreams to envision - I have visions to realize.

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Who knows, maybe Brandon Snell will be Mayor soon. Watch out Kathy Taylor.

Maybe Brandon will raise up a record label that will let musicians be musicians. Watch out Andrew Lack, Doug Morris, Edgar Bronfman Jr., and Eric Nicoli.

Maybe Brandon will create a business consortium/endowment that will benefit local communites and businesses and economies. Watch out Kenneth Lewis, Brendan McDonagh, Vikram Pandit, and Ben Bernanke.

Maybe Brandon will begin revolutionizing the ability to capture resource for quality private education. Watch out Dennis Van Roekel, Margaret Spellings and Barack Obama.

Perhaps I will work only to learn, and teach, that the answer to any and every problem is to give our debts to the One who already paid for them. Perhaps I will work to give authority back to the people, not the media by which we are now driven. Perhaps I will work every day of the rest of my life to re-establish the American Dream for every American - To live a life of worship and dedication to God through the only things that are honorable - hard work, compassion, and dedication. We only have a few days left, and I will spend them living in hope, which is to be our anchor, our only sure constant. The church will come alive when it learns to bear fruit - through labor (good-ol-hard-do-it-yourself-get-dirt-under-your-fingernails-dirty work).

If or if not - this is for sure - I will no longer put myself in the box of analytical submission. It's time to be moved, or be removed. There is no time for games.

Jesus move me. (I know You want to. . . .)