I am still laying in bed. Yes, it is early, but I have been in and out of the 'awake' state since 6:00am. It is part of a new resolution that I have decided to participate in, to allow myself time in the mornings where my mind isn't running a million miles an hour, and listen to His voice.
This morning I continue to lay here, with the lights off. I have some old school David Crowder from one of the original University Baptist Church recordings playing. The window is open about half way as there are low clouds, fog and constant rain pouring down just a few feet from my bed. The lightning cannot be seen, but the thunder makes itself known by rolling across Green Country in a non-inhibited - "YES. I AM HERE, AND I WILL BE HEARD."
I am breaking. Everything in my life is being broken, my need to fulfill certain economic obligations, my need to plan and administrate a movement has been chipped and chopped, reducing my vision to something that can be held and placed in that little pocket, likened to the coin pouch in the front of your jeans.
My life is being boiled down to a mere willing heart and passionate soul. I know what I believe, and believe what I know. There is one Rock. I am dedicated to that truth. Other than that, there are plenty of things up for debate, and scrutiny, and discussion. For sure.
Back to lightning. I have an important meeting today, perhaps the most important meeting of my physical life. Perhaps this will catapult me to my dreams, to bigger things, to great reaches and deeper depths. No. Its simpler than that.
The Lord has placed me in this time and this position to do one thing. I am to be a voice, just as thunder is. I am to repeat the words that God spoke this morning through the sound of thunder - "I AM HERE. I WILL BE HEARD." I am so humbled. I am nothing. I have been broken, and taken from, and my vast visionary dreams for the end of poverty and development of underprivileged people groups have been laid down, as they are too big for me. Those are His things. He put them there. However, he put a bigger task in my hands, to speak truth and life, and a call to lay down our agendas to seek Him in the quiet place. To seek Him in the morning and night, at all times.
For those of you that have had dreams and visions and are working hard in ministry, remember that He is the One that gives and takes away. There is one voice that created Heaven and Earth. HE IS ALWAYS HEARD. Do not abandon the original purpose of your life - to speak of good news and great joy, which is for all flesh. We must proclaim Glory to God in the highest, and this will be a sign to all who believe, that there will be peace among those who sing to God, and the Lord will show His favor and pleasure in the praise of His people.
Strength and Honor to our God. Jesus be exalted as the savior of the world, teaching us how to please the Father in faith, in worship, and communion.
If I can learn the simple truth, whittled and boiled down to a concentrated shape and flavor, even if it means abandoning the idea that endowments and not for profit organizations and community endeavors, and business plans to increase 'productivity' of the gospel, then so be it. Not my will, but His be done. There is only so much we can do.
Jesus is the King sent from Heaven to show us love, show us servant hood, show us worship, and how to speak in authority The Truth - to show us the Father and His love for us. He is here, and we will until He returns still say as the Spirit leads, "COME! SHOW UP IN POWER! SHOW UP LORD! WE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU AND YOUR PRESENCE! WE MUST SEE YOU! WE MUST KNOW YOU! JUST DON'T HIDE YOUR FACE! YOU ARE EVERYTHING THAT MAKES US STILL ALIVE!"
