I'm currently reading a book with my wife that was a gift for my birthday. It's titled '
Keep Your Love On', by Danny Silk. WHOA. Get it and read it as soon as you possibly can.
I'm learning that I know that God has created a destiny in me that is all about knowing Him, which has been a 24 year journey - so far. What I have failed to see, on many occasions and in many seasons, is how my identity has become in some instances, and in some environments more shaped by how I think God loves me through others in varying situations. Even though He does, salvation is not vicarious. Relationship is not an ideology. Intimacy is not a conquest; therefore any belief that I've held that says that what I can do, and who I do it with is neither the source of nor the culmination of why He's chosen to love me, and establish in me a new creation, a pure heart.
Although I can speak these things because I have the Word hidden in my heart, I've heard it a million times, spoken it a million times, and believed it, I know that it is still a matter of daily, even momentary choice to abide by the spirit of what it is I know. If I speak in tongues of men or angels, and I do not maintain my hunger for the Word, embrace its renewing qualities, and receive the inherently transforming power of that Gospel, I am at war with my Creator.
Every battle that has, is, or will be fought has already been won. Why must I must continue to remind Jesus, and all of those around me that we have to build something that accomplishes the work of the cross for others? I want to be a light, that is pure, that gives people Jesus, so that whether they believe or not, they can hear His voice for themselves, and say yes to the most compelling command that has ever been uttered, "Follow me."
So, in the spirit of the title of this blog, I must let go of perceptions, hurts, ideas, relationships, and things that I have turned into manipulative currency, debts, and obligations that were never intended to be used in leverage against others, in my reasoning, or as obligatory and consequential choices toward goals that are figments of my own imagination, chasing rabbits down holes. What I end up doing is looking for a way to justify myself. What Jesus is trying to do is reveal to me in increasingly simply ways, is that He has already justified, sanctified, beautified, and accomplished all that has ever needed to be accomplished, in, about, around, and for me. All I must do is follow.
If it requires leaving everything, I will follow. If the cost is too high, I don't believe in the sacrifice God made for me. If it hurts too bad, I live in a pit I dug for myself. Fortunately, God accounted for this, and still has found a way to reach me. If it means sitting on the shore of a lake and having a simple barbeque with Jesus, I must. Because abiding is following, and following is abiding. Cost, or no cost.
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Holy Spirit, your conviction, and your relentless pursuit of my heart, to know Jesus, and receive the Father's love for me are so exhausting! Please help me to know I don't have to run any further, I don't have to believe anything in addition to what You've given me, and I don't have to imagine a belief system of how the world could work, You have it under control! Help me to know that You are Good, and that You've created in me a new heart that can abide, that can receive, and that can know the secrets of Your heart in intimacy that You have waiting for me. Thank you for all You've done, what You are doing, and what You have in eternity for us.
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"Intimacy, deep calling out to deep
Breaking down walls that separate you from me
Won't you replace this heart of stone
So I can feel what you feel I need to know what moves you Lord
Intimacy, complete vulnerability
Striving no more, resting under Your wing
Won't you replace this heart of stone
So I can feel what you feel I need to know what moves you Lord
Passionate Father I just want to sit at your feet
Tell me all your secrets I am so lost in you that I feel so free"
https://play.spotify.com/track/4Wld8zYAqABFHCawCIF8Bh